Finding True Self

January 8, 2008

I was thrilled today when I bumped into this piece of advice. Here’s the entire conversation.
” How do you know when you are following your true self? In your book “Book of Secrets” you say that you shouldn’t allow yourself to feel doubt. That is much easier said than done. I feel that I am at a crossroads in my life. Spiritually, professionally, and personally. I feel restless, confused, and sad. I am searching for my true self and am not finding answers.

How does a person know they are on the right path?”

gypster, a member of the forum did an exemplary job replying to this question… here’s what he wrote!

Dear Beignet,
While I am not Dr. Chopra, I feel I am qualified enough to have something for you. Please read and take from it what you wish and leave the rest behind if it does not resonate with you.Your true self is that of absolute unconditional love. This is no easy task, as it takes practice, patience, forgiveness, discernment and diligence to form new thought patterns in the mind. But the road gets less bumpy as you go along, and the signs ever more familiar.You can begin by fostering grace, gratitude, poise and most of all FAITH in the FACT that most of what you see happening outside of you is really within you and a direct result of your thoughts and more so your -intentions-. When you see the world through this new, empowered vantage point, you will begin (hopefully) embracing the good things that happen as well as the bad. Yes, the bad, too. For these experiences give you something that’s not always seen in lieu of the circumstance itself. It is said that we achieve the greatest personal growth in our darkest times. So have faith in your progress, even now, no matter how sad or confused you may feel, because generally you get what you ask for in life. If you ask for answers, they miraculously come. If you ask for help, it comes too. But if you FOCUS on the situations that make you feel certain ways, and allow yourself to feel pity, look back with regret or look ahead with doubt you will most certainly create similar situations in your life ahead.Again, practice is the key. Discernment and attention to your inner dialogs (yes, dialogs!) is just one step in the process. Then comes a CHOICE. Once you’ve realized, “Hey, I’m thinking _____!”, you must then decide and discern whether or not this is the highest, the most unconditionally loving thought you can have at your current point in time. If it is, keep it. Now if it’s not, decide right then to think another way. Open yourself to the myriad of possibilities of ways to look at something and exhaust them, one by one, till you find one that is MOST RESONANT with Love.Many people are confused about unconditional love. And some people are afraid of it. Some think it’s boring or powerless. Let me tell you something, it is NONE of the above. Throw out your preconceived notions about unconditional love and think of the times in your life when you have FELT it. You have, I can guarantee it. Think of your mom, your dad, your puppy, your cat. Think of all the people or animals who love you no matter what. See past disappointment if there are momentary bouts. Disappointment is always temporary and is NOT the same as hate, fear, etc to the ones who love you unconditionally.

Now let these people/animals be mirrors to yourself. Observe yourself in them. Allow your memory to guide you, to serve you and reflect upon these experiences. The answers are there. Trust this, trust yourself, love yourself, forgive yourself.

This is something on a different definition than romantic or passionate love. You can feel these things, too, but NEVER confuse them. Unconditional Love is acceptance of all things and people in your life, regardless of their facade. People, adults especially, are often very difficult to love unconditionally. Often we are flared up and hurt, angered or saddened by their victim or saboteur archetype within. To accept them is to look past this (and not necessarily allow them to keep harming us) and see to the source of their actions, which is always FEAR-based. But stay your judgments. Watch those judgments. Observe how they make you feel. Do they resonate with Unconditional Love? Ask yourself over and over if necessary. Answers will come. The same goes for things and situations in your life, not only people. Always question what your judgments are doing to your feelings and then once you recognize them, make a choice right then to begin thinking in ways that are more towards Unconditional Love. Once judgment is removed from the picture, once can then begin to see the TRUE self and the RADIANCE of selfless Love.

Apply this to all things in your life. Omit judgment in it’s many forms from your thoughts. It starts with observance of the mind’s chatter, then with decisions. It’s a process, allow it’s flow and take one thing at a time. You are progressing as long as you are making these choices.

It’s ok to feel sad or feel loss at times. Just let yourself feel those feelings and let them pass without attaching to them. That’s very important. Don’t attach. Then, use the memory to reflect upon the experience. What can be learned? Was I loving unconditionally in that moment? Was I loving to myself? Was I being judgmental? Draw wisdom from every experience and you will do right for yourself always.

Most importantly, HAVE FAITH in your progress. I can’t say this enough.

Best wishes and much Love.

I am happy to discuss this further if you wish.

Thank you gypster.
Unconditional love is difficult…much more difficult than I realized. Especially giving yourself unconditional love.
Attaching is another difficult concept. Everything that happens around us feels personal. Like it is “about” us when often times it isn’t. I do have to learn to let go.
Thank you for your words. I will consider them carefully.
Dear Beignet,
Remove “difficult”, “have to”, “want to” and “going to” from your vocabulary. Instead, affirm that you ARE unconditionally loving already. That’s the fact. While you can’t take the drop of water out of the ocean and still call it the ocean, you can in fact see it is made up of the same “stuff” as the ocean, only in minuscule form. It is an inescapable fact that you are already everything that you wish to be including Unconditionally Loving.You can conceptualize driving to the store, or building a fence or whatever. But will conceptualizing actually GET you to the store or result in a fence being built? Absolutely not. It takes action, which is the application of knowledge. Once you KNOW the way to go to the store or how to build that fence, the next natural course of action is to drive there or build it. Otherwise nothing manifests into reality as a result of knowledge.Make a pact with yourself that you will not take things personally and that you are able to let go with ease. Write yourself notes, keep a copy of it on your person at all times. Keep all of your affirmations near you so that you can throughout the day take them out and read them silently or aloud. “Every time I take something personally or find myself acting unloving to myself or others I will take this list out and read it or at least remember each item on the list. I will remind myself of these affirmations every time I find myself mired in such ways.” Read the list several times a day, including in the morning and at night. I’ve taped stuff to my mirror so I am sure to see them. Most importantly, have gratitude for this process and for everything you have in your life. You truly are blessed.Love and Light.
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